So today is the first full day since my neurologist prescribed me beta blockers for migraine headaches something which I don’t agree with but will go along with for now so that it can be eliminated or confirmed from my current problems I am experiencing.
I awoke this morning after a decent nights sleep but not looking forward to my upcoming run with Kevin. I felt fat and tired a result of eating and drinking far, far too much on Sunday and Monday. I weighed 13st 11lbs this morning a weight I would have been proud of 3 months ago but now one which leaves me feeling down. I wondered how I was going to keep up with Kevin on our run over the Calder Valley and nearly messaged him to say I couldn’t make it because I was so nervous about running and felt so disgusted with myself for making a mess of myself yet again and letting myself down.
I decided to go on the run in the end. It’s not fair on others to suffer because of my faults so I had breakfast, did some warm up exercises and set off to meet Kevin at the Hare and Hounds. There is a reason for mentioning everything I have written above. Are some of my problems including my headaches because I put so much pressure on myself to be my best and when I don’t live up to my high expectations I fall apart under the pressure, pressure I have put myself under?
The run was very good. The weather was very hot, too hot for me and I felt fat and sluggish to start with but I eventually found my rhythm and I managed to keep up with Kevin for the majority of the run. We ran round the Calder Valley and ended up at Stoodley Pike before heading back to the car. We thought we had taken the right route but ended up on some new trails and found some new climbs with the customary house at the top. I always wonder what made someone build a house here and how they built it. The slopes are so steep yet the houses have been here for years and haven’t slid down onto the road yet. My water bottle springing a leak didn’t help soaking my backside in energy infused water and leaving me with nothing to drink for at least half the run and I suffered because of this. I could feel the energy draining from me under the blazing sun but I kept going and didn’t give up. I always keep plenty of water in the car for situations like this and this came in very handy today. It was a welcome relief to get back to the car and refresh my thirsty throat.
Today has been a difficult day to judge how I feel mentally. It’s only one day since I changed things although my eyesight seems clearer already. A long run in the heat has taken it out of me so it’s hard to tell if I’m tired, drained and finding it hard to concentrate on anything because of the run or because of the headaches. The same slightly fuzzy feeling is still there in my head giving me moments when everything seems to stop for a second but it does feel like it’s been a slightly better day than yesterday which is good.
The purpose of this diary is to see if the changes I am making are having a long term effect or if the headaches continue and the confusion and lack of concentration continues too. Some days will be quite boring and nothing much will be reported. Other days may be full of incident after incident. Only time will tell. At least today I remembered to turn the gas off although I did spend the whole morning wondering if I was going to come back to a burnt out house.
The Autistic FellRunner 