Wednesday, 7th October, Wet and gloomy


9:33am. It’s a wet and gloomy Wednesday and mt sleep pattern is back to normal waking at around 2am and dropping in and out of sleep till I get up at around 7am. Uni today and self study something I’m not very good at but we’ll see how I get on today.

1:31pm. In uni doing some studying. The excitement is killing me.

2:09pm. In a room with one other person and they are making more noise than a crowd in a football stadium!

4:00pm. Just been told I can have a small office to study in! It’s not often if ever I get what I ask for as there is always someone else with ‘greater needs’ than mine but this time I have and if I can access it early and leave early even better!

I know it’s sounds like I’m whinging and whining about not getting my own way but I sometimes think that the way I express myself gives the wrong impression and that I’m either not forceful enough and don’t get anything or too forceful and people don’t believe me. When you’ve had a lifetime of it you feel like giving up on everyone and everything but then something like this happens and it goes a little way to restoring your faith in people.

5:29pm. Found out I have a room for three days a week to study in! this will make such a massive difference to my studying having somewhere I can call my own and become familiar with and I still have the option of booking a space elsewhere although after three days of studying I will have had enough.

Made progress with my studies too. Made some notes and put some thoughts down. I’ll start to write them up tomorrow but I’m happy with my progress.

I’ve rewritten my chapter on suicide. I’ve tried to make it more dramatic and hopefully I’ve achieved this. Now I have two chapters I’m happy to send to a publisher. One more to go and then send them off!

9:29pm. Been a good day. Got more done than I thought and I would and learnt a lot more too. Lots of opportunities coming up covid or no covid. Who knows where I’ll be this time next year.

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