July 29th, running on empty


7:23pm. I had a good nights sleep but woke feeling apprehensive about my upcoming run with Clive. I didn’t want to run as physically and mentally I wasn’t up to it. My calves although feeling better than the night before still felt sore and ached. Unluckily for me Clive hadn’t cancelled so I resigned myself to a run round Ogden Water and Thornton Moor when I would have preferred to have stayed in bed listening to the radio.

I parked at Ogden 5 minutes early and immediately Clive was stood in front of my car waiting for me! I joked with him that this what it must be like to be married but it must have gone over his head as he said he’s never getting married again so I gave up and stopped there. I often wonder if it’s what I say or how I say it but so many people misinterpret what I say.

We set off up the trail heading towards Withens and Clive was immediately setting the tone for the day by talking nonstop about how he dislikes zero drop shoes and how Inov8 have gone down in quality. I was tired and I was trying to get my breath and concentrate on where I was going but I tried to pretend I was interested by engaging in chitchat with him.

We went over the stile and took the Midsummer Madness route with Clive going off in the distance only to wait for me and carry on chatting. We carried on this route skirting Skirden Clough a word which Clive seems to use for anything and everything, and made our way up to the Giants Tooth.

At the Giants Tooth we stopped for some photos. It was a clear day and we got some great photos. Afterwards we ran back down to Ogden Reservoir and made our way up Ogden Clough before making our way over to Thornton Moor Road and the Bronte Way via Foreside Lane. On the Bronte Way I had, had enough. My legs were in bits and Clive still hadn’t stopped talking about anything and anyone. By this time I had switched off and was letting it go in one ear and out the other. We went past Thornton Moor reservoir and turned left after it turning left again at the top onto Hambleton Lane which is not a lane but a technical and rocky trial that takes you back to Ogden.

On the lane we came across quite a few people who were going for a walk over the moors but we eventually cleared them and I had a free run down the hill back to Ogden and despite my legs feeling painful I was able to run fast for once and get away from the constant talking.

I got home had something to eat and then had a phone call from Bradford Social Services about my Care Act Assessment which has turned into some leaflets being sent out and no-one coming to see me because I don’t have any needs they can help me with. I’ve now got to get in contact with my doctor about accessing support through the surgery so it’s all gone really confusing as I don’t understand why I can’t access support or how to. It’s especially confusing when I know of others who do get help and support yet I’m denied this so I have to carry on living the way I do till I drop dead.

After that I was worn out totally. I tried to write up my diary but I didn’t have the energy to do it. I went to bed around 8:00pm and woke around 11:00pm going downstairs to get some water before going back to bed. I haven’t been so tired for a long time.

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