July 8th, so very tired


12:36pm. I’ve managed to go for a run on very tired and battered legs. It was only round Ogden, 3 laps known as the TT and a run up to the Giants Tooth but it was better than nothing and all I could manage. My legs are still done in from last Thursday and Monday and from all the running I did in April and May, May mainly. I’ve been here before and it’s just about keeping going and taking it easy and enjoying running for the experience it is and building myself back up to where I was before. I can do it, I know I can.

I’ve ordered some new shoes for running in the mud too seeing as my Mudclaws are trashed. I’ve going for something with a wider sole so that I’ve got more support for my weird ankles and they don’t make me pronate like the Mudclaws do. I’ve ordered a pair of Adidas and a pair of Altras. Both have mega grip made by Continental and Vibram respectively and both have great reviews. I’m going to go for the shoe that is the widest and will hopefully give me the most support when running over the terrain I like.

I’ve discovered a place called Cross Fell: https://www.visitcumbria.com/evnp/cross-fell/ the highest point in the Pennines and now on my radar for a day out of running over it once my legs have recovered!

And my head is aching. I’m going to try and read some more uni books but I fear I will fall asleep and wake up in a couple of ours. I need to win big on the lottery so I can catch up on my sleep, not have to do anything and feel vaguely human for once.

9:03pm. Shattered beyond shattered both mentally and physically. I managed to walk to the shop to get my lottery but my legs were aching beyond belief. I tried to read some uni stuff but fell asleep so went to bed for a nap. I’m looking at doing my life story in a different way, I can do this and do something better than the yp her own arse bitch that has made so much from it and is to be avoided at all costs. I just need sleep, so much sleep and to feel feeling awake and refreshed for once rather than waking up feeling tired and thinking here we go again another day of being tired before I go to bed in the knowledge I’ll wake up feeling tired. I’m sick to death of feeling tired!!!

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