Today is not a good day. I feel down, depressed torn between two different me’s both fighting to be in control of me. I don’t know who I am or what I am doing here. I’m operating on auto pilot for the sake of survival.
All I want to do is curl up in a ball and go to sleep. Wake up? Who knows? Maybe, maybe not. But not wake up like this. In a land of nothing, going nowhere, floating in space with no direction.
I ran 11 miles yesterday. People were congratulating me telling me how inspirational I was. But who inspires me? Who is there for me to look up to when I need a lift? Who indeed.
All alone in a vast universe slowly being suffocated by the hand of life. No energy, just want to go to sleep and wake up somewhere different. But not on this place, not here…