Saturday, 3rd October, Rainy days…


8:56am. I had a good nights sleep. I woke up and drifted in and out of sleep and it was wonderful. Claire messaged me to say she thought my new version of my experience with cancer was better than the old one. To be honest I knew it was but sometimes you just need someone you trust and respect to say it too. It gives you the impetus to carry on in that style and hope that you send it off to someone else who thinks the same and see’s potential in it, enough potential to want you to write the full story.

Weighed myself as I usual do and I’ve lost 2kg since yesterday. That’s despite beer and a pizza last night. Going to have to watch my weight and see if I lose more…

Today is a day of writing and gym. I’d love to go for a run or walk but I daren’t risk my ankle after yesterday. It feels good but I know from previous experience an injury can feel good and you go out too soon and make it worse so no running or long walks today.

Discovered ‘Remains of Elmet’ by Ted Hughes a collection of poems about the areas I love the most. Looking forward to reading them today.

12:29pm. Sat here reflecting and contemplating. Just heard some very sad news. A man who I used to go to Igniting the Spark with is in the final days of his life. He is at home surrounded by family and friends and has been to heaven the past five days. Steve was a lovely man, a great poet, warm and humourous with an eye for the unusual who would always make you sit up with his one liners and unique observations on life. I have a pamphlet of his somewhere from when I first heard him perform in Hebden Bridge. I feel privileged and honoured to have known him and to have watched him at work in our poetry group. Steve, you will be sadly missed. Go peacefully and take heart in the knowledge that you will never be forgotten.  

5:16pm. Feel out of sorts again, something or someone isn’t right and I don’t know what it is or who it is but it’s affecting me as my sixth sense is in overdrive again. I’ve done 2 hours of weights at the gym had a good meal afterwards and I feel empty. It’s not right and I know it but right now I can’t do anything about it either until I know more or the feeling passes. I hope something happens soon so I can get back to normal and stop feeling like this.

9:10pm. Done some more writing. I’m happy with how it’s coming along. Going to play some games before going to bed. Back at the gym tomorrow.

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