July 19th, a good day

7:25pm. The day didn’t start off well. I woke around 2am feeling bloated and I was unable to get back to sleep for some time. I resisted the temptation to get up and play games and instead chose to lie in bed listening to the sounds of the night hoping that I would eventually drop off. Around 4:30am I must have dropped off as the next thing I remember is waking around 6:30am and getting up an hour or so later. I had breakfast and decided that this was going to be a day when I took things at my pace and it wouldn’t be dictated by runs or studying. I believe we can put ourselves under too much pressure to do the things we have to do and love to do and this only adds to the anxiety and stress we experience every day. Quite often we don’t need to do it but we feel an obligation to ourselves to do it and as a consequence we feel pressure.

Today though was not going to be one of those days, this was going to be a pressure free day a day when I could really relax and enjoy the day. After breakfast I did some exercises with my kettlebells and medicine ball then went for a walk round the village. It was a beautiful day and a real pleasure and privilege to live where I do and be able to get out and enjoy it. On the way home I popped into the Co-op and got some cakes and crisps as although my intention is to eat healthy I know that when I’ve had a few beers at the club my good intentions go out of the window and I turn into a food eating machine and I can eat my bodyweight in food several times over.

Once home I had some dinner and popped to the club. The club was empty upstairs as most people were downstairs watching Leeds Utd. I watched some snooker and then we played dominoes and it was just like the old days. Mick and me lost our first couple of games and then we won three on the trot before losing our last game. We had a good time with plenty of banter and after dominoes we had some more laughs with me making some misjudged comments as usual before finally heading home where I ate a pizza and had a load of cake and crisps as I knew I would. I have resisted the temptation to have anymore alcohol though s I want to get up early tomorrow if possible to go for a run or at least wake up feeling ready for a run and not as if the hounds of hell are barking in my head.

Yes today has been a good day the sort of day I’ve been wanting to have for a long time so I could finally recharge my batteries and feel ready for the week, a good day for my mental health with no stress or pressure. I’m going to get an early night as I can watch TV in bed and I’m looking forward to a nice, long run tomorrow and then back to studying.

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