The night wins the battle yet again. The battle of whether I sleep or not. It is a battle it almost always wins unless I blot out life and reality or until I breath my last and close my eyes for one last time. I admit defeat and move my weary body yet again on this long, long day. Twenty four hours has become forty eight and there is still more to go. I read some Ted Hughes, if I am awake I may as well make the most of it and I feel something reawakened deep inside, something that has been dormant for too long and needs to be brought to life once again. The heating hums its single tune, no wonder I cannot close my eyes and dream. The air is warm and dry devoid of cold moisture that could help me go to other places. I get up and go downstairs to eat the goodness of another, I shouldn’t eat it but I need it, my mind and body conditioned to eat it by years of socialisation from others. Of all the hopes I have tonight the one of closing my eyes and sleeping is the one that keeps me going.
The Autistic FellRunner
I am a 52 year old male with a late diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. I enjoy writing in all forms about people and life. I enjoy running over the moors where my mind can be free from the stresses of everyday life. I am currently studying for a PhD in autism and aging. I hope you enjoy my writing and please feel free to leave a comment. Thank you for taking the time to visit my site. View all posts by The Autistic FellRunner