Tonight

The night wins the battle yet again. The battle of whether I sleep or not. It is a battle it almost always wins unless I blot out life and reality or until I breath my last and close my eyes for one last time. I admit defeat and move my weary body yet again on this long, long day. Twenty four hours has become forty eight and there is still more to go. I read some Ted Hughes, if I am awake I may as well make the most of it and I feel something reawakened deep inside, something that has been dormant for too long and needs to be brought to life once again. The heating hums its single tune, no wonder I cannot close my eyes and dream. The air is warm and dry devoid of cold moisture that could help me go to other places. I get up and go downstairs to eat the goodness of another, I shouldn’t eat it but I need it, my mind and body conditioned to eat it by years of socialisation from others. Of all the hopes I have tonight the one of closing my eyes and sleeping is the one that keeps me going.