I haven’t written anything for a while now, I juts haven’t been in the mood. So much going on. Car breaking down, meeting and making up with my best friend which was so important to me, restarting my PhD, meeting people who can help me with my book, wondering where life will take me and if I’ll have someone by my side to share my journey.
All this takes a toll on my mental health especially my anxiety and I have a million thoughts whirling around inside my head bumping off my skull waiting for another million thoughts to replace them. My anxiety increases, my energy is drained and my behaviour can become erratic and confusing for others. I turn to alcohol to reduce my anxiety but this only serves to increase the cycle of anxiety I’m in.
Today I woke with no anxiety and a clear head for once. It makes such a difference to me. I feel calm and relaxed and I can start to sort things out before the anxiety returns because it will do but for now I can enjoy the moment and enjoy the feeling of having no anxiety.
The Autistic FellRunner 