August 19th, Assessment day

8:17pm. I had a day off from running today, I could feel the tiredness in my legs and I want to run tomorrow morning before I go for my massage in the afternoon. If I run today I know I will be desperate for a run on Friday but I prefer to have a day off after my massage to let everything settle back down.

I’ve just done some jobs around the house, some reading and writing whilst I wait for the neurologist to ring. She was late ringing but I’m used to that. I told her about my headaches and how bad they have been recently and she still thinks they are migraines which I do not think they are. We do agree that they are caused by drinking too much alcohol and taken too many paracetamols, a combination for me of wanting to unwind and relax and being able to function in an increasingly pressurised world. Boredom is a factor too, spending all day on my own is not always good and the pressure to relive the boredom builds and builds until the only way to relieve it is through alcohol. It’s a bad habit I’ve got into and it’s one I need to break. It will take time but I believe I am strong enough and determined enough to do it. She did say that there is no damage to my brain which is good news and that it might take 8 weeks to feel any improvements. In the meantime I’m going to keep a detailed diary showing what I drink and how I feel, if I have any headaches or feel stressed and anxious and see if things improve.

I’m going to bed early tonight as I want to be up early for a run over the moors on one of my favourite routes and I have a sports massage in the afternoon so it’s a busy day for me but one I’m looking forward to.  

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