1:08pm. I’m starting today’s diary finishing off yesterday’s. I went to the club and sat outside in the sunshine with my mates and slowly started to come round. It took a couple of pints but I began to feel human again in the company of people, real people and it was a good feeling. I sat outside and I noticed far more than I usually do. Queensbury is rough where I live. Everybody was out drinking in the street, swearing and driving carelessly. It made me want to be somewhere else, somewhere more civilised. Maybe this is the inner snob in me surfacing and wanting to feel superior? Sometimes the roughness of Queensbury gets to me and I just wish I was somewhere else like Heptonstall.
After a while I went inside and everything was ok, chatting and laughing and then it all went blank. I vaguely remember walking home but that’s it. Nothing else. I blacked out for the second time in less than a week drinking lager a drink I have no problems with…usually. It’s becoming evident now that I do. I don’t know why or if it’s connected to my headaches but drinking even lager is giving me problems. A quick look on the internet and blackouts can occur with dementia…
So I woke this morning before 4am in bed but feeling ok. I looked at my phone and saw that someone had left a comment on my WordPress blog. The comment was and I quote:
‘You’ve been tagging nearly all your recent posts with “autism” even though they don’t appear to relate much to autism (that I can tell). Would you mind being more judicious about which posts you tag with “autism”, so people who find your blog through the Actually Autistic Blogs List can be steered to the autism-related content more easity?
Thank you.’
I found this rather strange and responded with:
‘In what way do my posts not relate to autism? My posts are about living an autistic life through my eyes as a high functioning autistic who also researchers autism. I want to give people a real life glimpse of what it is to be autistic and not go over old ground about what I perceive autism to be and get into debates on here about it. If you look at my posts from that of someone living an autistic life you will see that they are about autism. I will continue to tag my posts as autism because I want to change how people view autism and see that we live normal everyday lives life many others do.’
To me this person is assuming that everyone who writes about autism writes about it from the perspective of a ‘victim’ and that everyone is against them and that even though they are looking for acceptance and understanding they don’t get it because no-one makes the adjustments they need in order to feel accepted and understood. To me this is completely the wrong approach as it alienates the very people you are trying to get on your side because it highlights the divisions whether perceived or real between neurotypicals and autistics instead of emphasising the similarities between us and hopefully bridging the divide between us which is what I’m trying to do. And surely being autistic means you live an autistic life and are autistic whether that is from a ‘them and us’, scientific or simply ‘this is my life’ view? I’ve a feeling all they want is people saying how difficult their lives are because of society and science based blogs instead of someone showing that you can have a normal life with autism and you don’t have to go round shouting at everyone how hard your life is because society doesn’t understand you. I’m waiting for a reply.
The headaches have just started again or have got to a point where I notice them so I’m off to bed for an hour or so before I go and get my lottery.
7:34pm. Had a much needed nap and been for a walk to get my lottery and to Tesco’s for some bits. Still waiting for a reply to my reply and tired with a headache. Hoping for a good nights sleep and a good run tomorrow.
The Autistic FellRunner 