WAITING FOR A PARCEL

So it’s supposed to come today my parcel. Not sure when but these days you never are. Could be anytime between 8am and 10pmhich gives whoever is delivering it plenty of time to nip off for a crafty fag, a sandwich or a beer whilst I sit in all starting anxiously out of the window for any sign of life, listening as hard as I can for any sounds. I’m sure I just heard a fly breathing…

What was that? Just someone running past. Another false alarm. Unless it’s someone stealing my parcel. No, who would do that! What’s on TV? Just the usual rubbish but don’t have the sound up too loud or you might not hear the knock on the door.

There’s the young lass over the road doing the gardening. I wish she would wear properly fitting jeans so I didn’t have to see her builders bum. Still it’s something to stare at whilst I wait. Here’s a car, here’s a car! Just the bloke from over the road parking in front of my house again. Bollocks! Hope my car is alright further up the road.

What’s on TV? Anything good? Nope just the usual shite. So know I daren’t move in case the man comes with my parcel. Hardly dare breath in case I don’t hear the knock. Trapped in my home, looking out onto the outside world as it passes slowly by, waiting for a single knock that will release me from my self-imposed prison cell.

Hmmmm. Might as well check the status of my parcel. Attempted delivery! 3 hours ago! A complete lie! A whole day wasted waiting for a parcel to come and now I’ll have to wait another day waiting for it to be delivered again! This time I’ll wait behind the door and surprise the delivery man! Ahhhh well time for bed.