Monday, 03 July 2023
I woke around 2am, checked my bank balance and it looked too good to be true, so I went downstairs and checked it on my laptop, and it was. I went back to bed but at least I could sleep now instead of laying in bed wondering what state my finances were in.
I slept in because I had got up during the night, so it was 8am when I got up. I had some toast for breakfast, I need something more filling than fruit first thing on a morning and set about sorting my week out. I feel like I’m coming down with a cold, fuzzy head, tired, but not quite there yet but on the way. It could be connected to the pain in my hip though, which I still suspect is rheumatoid arthritis, despite what my doctor thinks. I’ve still got lower back pain and pain in my glutes this morning, but it’s the norm now so I’d be more surprised if I didn’t have any pain. I wonder if this is my life now till I leave this mortal coil, constant pain each and every day.
I’ve cancelled a direct debit that will wait till next week to be paid. They’ll chase me, I’ll explain and hopefully everything will be okay. A debt collection company is chasing me for a debt that I haven’t even got with them. I’m hoping to get this sorted today and that, that will stop the phone calls.
It’s now mid afternoon and the weather has improved considerably even if I have not. I’m having what I can only describe as a severe rheumatoid arthritis flare up. I cannot focus or concentrate, and my thought processes are very slow. It is as if life is in slow motion, similar to 2nd stage hypothermia. I’m tired too even though I’ve had a nap this afternoon, and I daren’t go out in the car or even for a walk as I might end up wandering into the road or end up God knows where. I’m just going to have to practice self-care today and hope that tomorrow is a better day.
I’ve had a nap this afternoon and then something to eat and my fourth cup of coffee of the day. I felt better after this so took advantage of my improved mood and went out for a walk in the evening sun. I managed 3.7 miles round Queensbury, and I was proud of myself for not giving in and getting out and doing something.
It’s now approaching 8pm and I’m back to where I was this morning, with a massive headache at the base of my skull going up the back of it. I’m so tired, totally drained and struggling mentally with brain fog and an inability to focus or concentrate again. I have rung Argos to sort out my problem with them and I have finally been able to contact my surgery on PATCHS to tell them my health and quality of life is slowly declining. I’m hoping they’ll get back to me with an appointment to see a doctor or get an X-Ray soon.
Time for bed now and I’m hoping that tomorrow is a better day.
The Autistic FellRunner 