Saturday, 24 June 2023
It’s just gone 2pm on a warm and overcast Saturday afternoon. I’ve just finished yesterday’s dairy, and now I’m starting todays. I’m late for reasons which will become all too apparent, and it would have been easy to not have done yesterday’s entry, not done todays, and leave my dairy, as 11 entries, giving an insight into a very average person’s life, and nothing more. I enjoy doing the dairy though, writing down my thought, observations and what I have done during the day. I have found it liberating, it clears my mind of all the thoughts that whirl around in it, and it calms my mind and gives me a sense of purpose. As with anything, some entries will be more interesting than others, but that’s the point of it for me. It’s a dairy about my life and some days will be better than others, that’s life after all.
I woke around 11am, with a massive hangover from last night. My head was pounding, and my right calf, was aching. I’ve no idea what I’ve done to it, but it still hurts now. I struggled to get up, but I had to, as I was hungry. I managed to crawl out of bed, feed my little cat, and walk down to Tesco’s to get some sandwiches for breakfast. I had intended to have a healthy breakfast of fruit, eggs, and cheese, but after drinking far too much last night, I couldn’t face it and decided to have some sandwiches instead. Breakfast done; I thought about what I needed to do today and then realised I couldn’t string two thoughts together because my head hurt so much, so I went back to bed to sleep it off, whilst watching BBT.
I woke with my head, buzzing with thoughts and ideas of what I need to do and after a cup of very strong coffee, I made a mental list of them. First and foremost is to get control of my spending. I spent around £50 at the club yesterday, which is far too much, and an amount I can’t afford. In the past I would have gone out again tomorrow, but I’m going to stop in to save some money, and because I spent my alcohol budget for tomorrow yesterday, and I have to be hard on myself and take responsibility for my actions, and this is one way of doing it. Another thought I’ve had is about my returning to university. First and foremost, I need to form some sort of plan as to where I am and where I need to be and what I need to do to get there. This is something I can do today and tomorrow and then send it to my supervisors to see what they think. Another thing I’ve been thinking about is my gym membership. I live in Bradford, England, and go to a gym in Halifax. The problem I have is I go to university in Bradford, so going from one to the other, is going to be time consuming and costly. I also know deep down that either the gym or university will drop off, as the realisation of how tiring driving between Bradford and Halifax dawns on me.
There is a solution, however. There is a gym at the university, it opens early and it only costs £9.99 a month which in this day and age is unbelievable. I’m currently paying £28 a month, so it’ll be cheaper and more convenient for me. I can go to the gym, do a workout, and then do some work, and be home in the afternoon, avoiding all the traffic. It makes sense to me. I need to work out, as I need to lose weight because of the arthritis in my hip, so it’s not something I can avoid, but I think I’ve found a solution to this problem at least.
I’ve been worrying too, about the world, where we’re heading, where I’m heading. There’s so much going on at the moment, the Titan imploding, killing everyone, a military revolt in Russia and the cost-of-living crisis, which is impacting most people. Like most people, all I can do is my best and hope it’s enough.
It’s just gone 10pm and time for bed. I’m tired but happy. It’s been a quiet day, but I’ve got some stuff done, and I know what I need to do for my PhD, a literature review. I’m hoping for a good night’s sleep, so that I can make a start on it next week. I’ve found some papers I was using before and now I can access the systems I can find more articles and do my literature review and get on with my PhD.
Time for Guns n Roses at Glastonbury.
The Autistic FellRunner 